Ponies, Puppies, Paris. What more could an American gal ask for? How about a year of ponies, puppies and Paris, or maybe just Paris and the chance to travel around Europe for months at a time? Well, unfortunately for this Heather I'm limited to weeks, but such is not the case for Heather Dornblum. In fact this has been her reality for the last ten months. The ponies and puppies, however, were reserved special for me.
Heather, a friend and fellow classmate of mine from Hunter College, will have spent an entire year in Europe by the time she heads home this coming January. I caught up with her on Sunday and gathered some precious details about her experience living abroad. Our conversation covered everything from her initial shock of moving all the way to the challenge of enduring heartbreak alone. Sound amazing?
She is.
I met Heather at Parc Monceau by her apartment. I had never been there before and was so happy I had the chance to see another gorgeous part of my neighborhood that otherwise I probably would have never found...
See more photos below!
"Heather?" A voice called from behind, at once warm and familiar. It was Heather! I turned around to see a tall girl with a beaming smile (no not me!) and oh my god that hair! The last time I saw her, which was over a year prior, she had a blonde ombre. This time she was sporting hot pink that made no apologies for its awesome-ness. "Girl I rock" is basically what it said, check out the photos!
We strolled around the park, each of us summarizing the last year of our lives for the other while ooing and awwing at passing puppies and adorable french babies. Heather would later enlighten me to the fact that you don't pet French people's pets, they don't even like you looking at them; lucky for me I never tried, to pet them that is. Of course I oogled, who wouldn't?! Eventually we found a bench on an open pathway and settled in for what would be a two hour discussion on Heather's year (in progress) in Europe.
OMG SO CUTE! How can you not stare?
Luckily for me they were too busy trying to protect their baby and dog (respectively) to notice the creepy American snapping photos.
"So" I began "what was your initial motivation for wanting to come to Paris?"
"I chose to study French because I was obsessed with how romanticized the place is" she answered, describing how at the age of thirteen she was already enchanted with France and French culture: "my first French teacher, Madame Rosselli, was so elegant; she had the baguettes and this hat... As soon as I saw her I knew."
There was a brief pause, as though that same enchantment was manifesting right then and there in the park, "Since then it has always been my dream to move to France" she said as a heavy gust of wind swirled the leaves around our feet.
We continued on, going through the questions one by one, often getting side tracked by the spontaneous beauty all around us, or simply going off wherever the questions took us. There was no rush, just a typical Sunday afternoon in Paris.
Through Heather's answers I began to see that there was a story unfolding; it was a story about searching for oneself amidst insecurities, strangers, and loss. But it was also about connecting to people and realizing that no matter how different or how alone you feel, so many people are going through similar issues just beneath the surface.
This story began while discussing Heather's innitial reaction to living in a foreign country for the first time. She told me that most days she didn't even leave her room: "When I first got here it was really really difficult, the whole time I was very lonely. Here I really had nobody. The days were so long."
And so Heather's dream of going to Europe began with isolation and despair. When I asked what she had wanted to do here, she told me travel, but explained how fearful she was: "I had it cemented in my mind that I would not enjoy it unless I was with someone." This polarizing fear continued for six weeks before she finally got the opportunity to go to Rome in February with a fellow classmate. During the trip she made an "amazing friend" and realized that her fears of travel were unfounded.
"I'm always craving connection with people," she said "so when I don't have it I become like Smeagle in the cave you know?"
Never again would fear get in the way of attaining that connection though, because after Rome Heather began meeting so many different people as she traveled all over Europe, beginning with the north and south of France, and then on to England, Ireland, Scotland, Poland, Prague, The Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Italy, and Switzerland. And what's more, she did most of that traveling on her own.
It was during her stay in Ireland (now one of her favorite places) that Heather learned the true meaning of being herself. I asked what it was about Ireland that was so special. Her reply:
"I've had so many issues with myself, my whole life. [In Ireland] I was able to cleanse all of that. I'm constantly in this mentality of what people think about me. Irish people are very friendly and extremely non-judgemental. They're amazing. I wasn't worrying about beauty, I was having fun and meeting people and being alone for the first time."
Ireland was just the beginning though. Heather took seventeen flights, too many buses to count, and learned that what she now considers the most challenging aspect of living abroad, "doing everything yourself", has also been the most rewarding. Paradoxically, going it alone has led Heather to make deeper and more meaningful connections than she ever thought possible:
"The fear of traveling alone really impeded me from doing so many things for a long time in my life. You have to become strong enough to think on your feet and be open to make friends, and I did make friends. I made friends at every hostel I went. It's something I didn't think I would be able to do, I didn't think I was made of that. Now I have another trip to Naples alone and I can't wait!"
So naturally, this led me to ask what staying in a hostel is like (something I've never done) and how to go about choosing one. Her answer was simple and straightforward: "I've been staying in the mixed dorms and it's really exciting. Read reviews," she said "and spend the money to get something decent! Do not pick a place that has less than an 8.2 review, which is specific, but..." While she has stayed in enough of em' so my guess is the girl knows what she's talking about!
But Heather's time jumping from place to place wasn't always laughs and good times. In the midst of it she found herself caught between love and adventure, trying to nurture a relationship that just couldn't keep up. "It's so complicated" she said, "after our fight I went to Madrid to try to talk to him." It was obvious that even as she uttered the words to me, digging through months of memories, it still stung to talk about. Tear drops began to form in her blue eyes reflecting the afternoon sun like a trembling river. "He told me 'I don't believe in the idea of soul mates anymore. I don't believe that you should change your life to be with someone and I don't want to do that for you anymore and I don't want you to do that for me' and I swear it was this ice pick in my heart."
"But", she said, wiping the moisture from her eyes, "I have learned that you absolutely have no idea what life has in store for you. There's so much more out there to see and do. Don't think you're going to know how your life is gunna go, because you really don't."
Just then a string of four or five ponies galloped past with a child on a hover board and a spaniel puppy in tow. "You're right! You don't know what life has in store!" I said admiring the puppy that was admiring the ponies. You just never know who or what will cross your path.
Now nearing the end of the interview I asked her a few final questions beginning with her plans for returning home, to which she replied: "For the longest time I would think about going to the States and get physically ill. But I have a new perspective on it, I'm excited to get back. I haven't seen my family in a year and a half. I'm excited to return as this newer version of myself who now knows that yes, it is possible for me to do these things, to take chances, to have love".
And on to my final question...
"If your time in Europe was made into a film, who would you cast to play yourself and what genre would it be?"
"I would play myself because I am myself."
"True" I said.
"I would hire Xavier Dolan to direct it [love the new Adele video!] and I don't know if it's because I was an emo in my youth, but I've always been attracted to tragic love stories--have you ever seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?"
Have I?!?! Not even Lacuna's "eraser people" could remove the memory of only my favorite movie of all time, "Oh my God! I love the last line! I love all the lines..."
"I wanted to stay. I should have stayed" the words like a magical spell both Heathers understood and repeated synchronistically.
"Well" she said, "it would be something like that."
Okay so I lied, one more last question:
"Your favorite place in all of Paris?"
"That's easy" she answered, tucking strands of hot pink hair behind pierced earlobes, "Eiffel Tower. It's the only place I feel like I'm in France, the rest of the time I'm blissfully floating along in my dream world. But at the Eiffel Tower it hits me, I made it. I did this."
And there you have it, Eternal Tourist of the American Mind, a dramedie starring Heather Dornblum, featuring music by Adele and I'm guessing some very hot French guys.
*This film is not yet rated.
Pyramids in Paris?
And since this is technically a blog about food, let it be known that Heather's favorite food while in Paris has been, yup you guessed it, Tuna Fish.
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