I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

But why would I want to? This fall is like no other. For the first time in my life absolutely nothing is wrong. This is the best fall since the Yankees won their three-peat back in 2000. I’m as happy as I was then, maybe happier… I’m as happy as a puppy with a treat… and maybe that’s because I’ll soon have a puppy of my own. Or it might be that I’ve just relocated to a small town where the days are sunny and I sleep in a tree house beneath a canopy of leaves. But those reasons aren’t the only reasons. 

You see, I’ve entered into a whole new world of cuisine and my appetite has had reason to smile. Not merely the restaurants or markets, but an entire culture of clean, simple food has begun to transform my life.

There is only one problem. That is, the anxiety that bliss brings. How many of us have had this “forboding joy”, as Brene Brown refers to it it in her book, Daring Greatly.  It seems that when life is good, I mean really good, and your days are full of puppy planning, dancing (yes I even found new Zumba classes) and waltzing through the open air farmers markets, you start to get this uneasy feeling creeping up all around, lurking in your mind’s eye, threatening to steal your happiness.

I first noticed this unpleasant/downright scary visitor after moving into our new home. I worried that because we had found such a great deal on the house, we must have overlooked some significant flaw. I kept my eyes and ears peeled for horrific neighbors, strange sounds, or even the haunting of some disgruntled ghost. No matter how nice things were I could not help waiting for that inevitable flood or bedbug infestation, or electrical fire…. You get the idea.  

Then I noticed it lurking in the neighborhood. Naturally, Gurpreet and I have spent time visiting the local attractions. We've been delighted and surprised in equal measure by the absolute charm this neck of the woods has to offer. We have found local breweries & wineries, farmers markets (with the farms behind them), cider mills, family owned organic specialty stores , handmade furniture and scenic lakes and trails to name a few.

A great shot of lake Ontario @ Sackets Harbor Battlefield State Park

A picturesque dinner at the local brewery in Sackets Harbor, NY (This is where I began to love beer...Yay for Cherry Wheat Ale!)

And Dessert! The most delicious*amazing*silky-smooth*creamy*sweet*addictive*gottahaveit* Icecream/frozen custard I ever had. True Story. Try the German Chocolate Cake soft serve custard. You won't soon forget it.

So far, every business has been fantastic and every person has been welcoming and kind. I have no reason to fret. I have been blessed with more than I had hoped for. But still, my own tendency to “air on the side of caution” and “expect the worst” has led me towards cynicism and disbelief. People aren’t really this friendly, are they? Food can’t be affordable, safe, green, and delicious, can it?

I realized that living in a complex and chaotic city for so long has led me to believe that life can only be one way: complicated. Perhaps I need to unlearn some of those survival skills I took with me from the big city. I’m not saying that one shouldn’t be critical or cautious; I’m a firm believer that in this life nothing should be taken for granted, or taken at face value. We all need to do our due diligence and put in the work to educate and protect ourselves. But I must ask, when we “forbode joy” and allow our incessant worry to come between us and our sense of peace and wellbeing, who are we really protecting?  

There is nothing forboding about this goliath breakfast: Eggs Rosalie, 3 Pumpkin Pancakes, Maple Butter, Local Maple Syrup and Crisp Maple Bacon... oh and 2 Chai Lattes. Hello Fall @ Tin Pan Galley

If we examine the contents of our lives, most of us would find that in each moment there is plenty to be grateful for and plenty to enjoy. For most of us, there is little if any catastrophe. And even if or when disaster strikes, worrying won’t prepare us any better, nor will it prevent the inevitable or magically alter our fate. My guess is that worrying would only ensure our own sense of regret for failing to enjoy all the good that is routinely present in our lives.

My and my fiancé enjoying a cruise around the "Thousand Island" region in Northern NY

This is the lesson I’m trying to teach myself, or rather, I’m trying to allow the universe to teach me. I suppose it’s natural to be a bit more cautious in new unfamiliar territory, but each day is an opportunity to get more familiar and make new connections that may prove to be my (our) greatest source of strength. Happiness has left me feeling vulnerable. That’s what happens when you fall into it. But it has also left me wide open to the opportunities of learning how to live a richer life. I can’t tell you how excited I am to take these opportunities and hopefully share them. Maybe even inspire.

A late dinner @ Goodfellos

For my first step into the unfamiliar, I’m learning how to compost! I’ve heard it’s really not that complicated and actually rather easy. But it’s new to me and it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. Now that I have a house, and a yard, there’s nothing stopping me except my own apprehension, if I let it.

So keep an eye out for my next entry chronicling all the exciting details of my first official compost!

As always, thanks for reading and don't forget to enjoy the many flavors fall has to offer !!! They'll be swept away before you know it.

There they are again...can't get enough of those pumpkin pancakes!

Simple is beautiful. Organic, local turkey-canberry sandwich with mineral rich spinach.

I guess I can have it all... delicious pizza and calamari 6 hours north of NYC! @ Goodfellos

Our new fall friend! This lil neighborhood critter (Bonzo) has cozied up to us... and our bed!

What would fall be without a taste of nostalgia? I haven't seen these Freihofer's donuts since my childhood in New England!

Speaking of nostalgia, these Fish n' Chips @ S.H Brewing Co. brought back savory memories of childhood summers spent in MA.

And thanks to our friends Rani & Kareem for the first official new recipe of the season, Roasted Rainbow Carrots with Barley, Chard, Chickpeas & Artichoke Gremolata (recipe to be posted soon)! Gurpreet & I loved this vegan dish, but of course, we added steak. Sorry my vegan friends :(

Another shot of our beautiful dinner in our new home.

“Joy is as thorny and sharp as any of the dark emotions. To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees—these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. When we lose our tolerance for discomfort, we lose joy.” 

― Brené Brown